Denial
by Never.Present.Mind
Summary: A glimpse into Molly's understanding of her feeling's towards a certain detective. Drabble. One-shot. Rating because I'm paranoid :)


_Disclaimer- I do not own Sherlock, I am merely borrowing the characters._

_AN/Sorry about all grammar and spelling mistakes, I tried really hard to remove them. Thank you's are at the bottom. Enjoy :)  
_

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You cannot love someone you do not know.

Therefore, by default I do not love him. I can list everything I know about him on one hand. I know that he is a consulting detective for Scotland Yard. I know that he is a self proclaimed sociopath. I know that his best, and possibly only friend is Dr John Watson and  
finally, his coffee is taken black with two sugars.

I know a total of four facts about the man I spend most of my time with, which is quite sad really. So, unless you have an unfortunate birth defect or was involved in some kind of accident, you could fit everything I know about Mr Sherlock Holmes on one hand. Three of the facts he told me himself so that feels like cheating. It's common knowledge that John is his best friend, so that's not really special either. To love someone you have to know them, not what job they do or psychological disorders that might have. Love is built on the knowledge of small things, the things that make that person tick. Take my parents for example, they knew everything about each other from their favourite flavour of yogurt all the way to their shoe size, as far as I am concerned that's true cannot love someone you do not know and I do not know him.

I know it might seem like I have feelings for him from to others. I blush and stutter like a love sick teenager but that's because he is incredibly handsome. He is practically a walking poster boy for tall dark and mysterious. I have seen grown women swoon, yes swoon, over him like he is from a teen boy band or a sparkling vampire. So what if I get a little warm under the collar when he says my name all deep and sexy? And why is it so odd that I loose my sentence when I look into his eyes?

I guess in some respect you could argue that I am a love sick teenager. Although I am a decade too old to be considered a teenager, I'm in good health, and as I stated before , I do not love him. Other than that , I think a love sick teenager is actually a pretty good analogy.  
The furthest my feelings go is a crush, and that's at a push. Crushes have one and gone throughout my life, they've never caused any problems. A crush is fine, safe even. Could you imagine if I actually loved him? That would be embarrassing and stupid. Only a fool falls for a sociopath and I'm not a fool.

I know that and so does he. I know it may seem like he treats me like an idiot but, well, that's because I am compared to him. And it's not all the time. Occasionally he talks to me like we are on the same wave length, more often then not he is at least two steps ahead of me but sometimes, just sometimes, I'm right there with him and it's breath-taking.

I can see them looking at me with _those_ eyes and _that_ smile, as if to say 'poor Molly Hooper, fallen for the big, bad Sherlock'. It's not just the looks, those I can deal with. It's their reactions. Like the way Greg reprimands him 'in my honour' when I neither want, nor need defending. Or the way Ms. Hudson pats me on the shoulder like she is my mother when I barely know the woman. But the worst, by far has to be john. He just kind of flinches. Every comment Sherlock says to me, he braces himself as if he 'feels my pain'. Well, screw you John Watson.

John was supposed to be the one that understood. He was the one that was supposed to recognise that I wasn't hopelessly in love with Sherlock. But all he sees is a mean detective exploiting the crush of a precious little 'girl' just to bring him corpses and coffee.

The truth is I enjoy bringing him coffee. It means I get to watch his odd habits up close. Which sounds much creepier than I intended, but they're fascinating. For example, did you know he never drinks the coffee straight away? For a good minute, he will hold his hand (usually the right) about an inch over the top of the cup, palm down and fingers stretched. I reckon he likes the feeling of the steam warming his hand, before collecting and creating small beads of water, making his hand slightly damp, but that's just a theory. He never even looks at the cup whilst he does it, it's entirely his subconscious. He has absolutely loads of these little quirks and they tend to mean things, like he's talking to me without actually talking.

For instance, I know when he really likes the coffee I made because he taps his mug, I take it as a 'thank you'. There's no rhythm, it's just a few taps. The more taps means the better the coffee, which in turn means bigger the thank you. At least that's what I think. His brother did the same when I met him over Christmas, it must be a family thing. I know when he likes the corpses too. He almost bounces on the heel of his shoe, like he is rocking back and forth. It's really subtle which makes it hard to notice unless you're looking for it. Sometimes, when a case has gone on for days I give him biscuits with his coffee, because I know that he doesn't consider them food. Just in case you were wondering his favourite biscuit is the 'Jammy Dodger'. His least favourite cases are the ones with children in danger or worse, already dead. He would never admit it being the 'cold sociopath' that he is, but I see the way it affects him. So, I can ignore the harsher jabs at my love life or the cruel insults to my clothes on those days because I think it helps him, even just a little.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who notices these things which both thrills and saddens me. I feel like these traits make him more human and maybe if more people saw them he wouldn't be so misunderstood. Although I'm probably looking into it too much. They're honestly not that important and I only noticed them because I'm around him so much. John probably knows millions of little things about Sherlock and he doesn't love him. Just because you know a few insignificant things about someone doesn't mean you love them, but to love them you need to know them. I'm just being silly and over thinking it when its all very simple really.

I do not know him and I do not love him.

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_AN/I wondered how Molly saw her feelings towards Sherlock and this was the end product. I hope you enjoyed reading :)_

_I would like to send a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed my other one shot :_

**_JillianWatson1058/magicstrikes/RockingtheRedhead/p atemalah21/shepweiralways/MaryHooper/Icebabe59/Rax acoricofallapatorian17_**

**_/clare/noukinav018/suparcalifragilistic/Harmony139 7 and a few guests :)_**

_Without you guys I probably never would have written anything again, so thanks :D _

_Hopefully I will get the courage to write more and see you guys soon :)_


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